Things Homer HATES!!!!...

Zeb the cat

Zeb (short for Zeberdee) is the second of our cats. Dougal is bestest mates with Homer, but Homer HATES zeb!. Zeb swipes his nose, robs his dog biscuits, and the biggest mistake of all in Homer's books, he actually eats the cat food. Which if course is really Homers (well he seems to think so)


Actually I do sympathise with Homer on this particular dislike, as Zeb has a bit of a malicious violent streak and often rips his claws down my legs when I walk past. Dougal is often adopted by neighbours and has come home with all manner of names on new cat id tags - he has been 'gingey' 'cuddles' etc all ensuring that he has at least 3/4 owners in the neighbourhood, hence 3-4 plates of dinner a day.


Zeb on the other hand has yet to be adopted by anyone, despite me putting a label round his neck saying 'I am homeluss pleeze fead mee' in the hope that someone feels sorry for him and fosters him long term...

The dog crate

I read all the puppy books, devoured all the knowledge and invested in a 5ft square humungous dog crate for my little puppy, as I was assured 'Your puppy will love his crate, he will see it as a peaceful sanctuary, his own little space'

*!"£$%! did he....

From day 1 Homer was forced into the crate via a trail of biscuits, which he attempted to rob and double back for rather than walk in the jail. His total endurance time was about 1hr 50 mins. By that time, enough was enough and 'bark howl mode' was reached until his captors undid the bolts and released the poor little pup.

Ignore the puppy books, invest in a king sized divan instead with an extra large quilt. Carry the funny smelling little darling up to bed each night and you won't hear a murmur from your pup for the rest of his days

hosepipes

Always a delight is trying to roll up the hosepipe after use. Homer has an obsession for this bright yellow coiled up Adder that sleeps on the green reel outside the back door

Here he is demonstrating to all, how to disarm and safely dispose of these treacherous creatures should you happen to come across one

The Deadly Dyson

The dyson is up there with the hosepipe in Homers hatred list. I think he believes that that yellow fur monster that stacks up in the see through barrel is a long lost relative and not the ten tonne of dog hair that falls off him and Barley daily

He wraps his hairy little legs around it and has a ride round the front room chewing on any part of it that sticks out

His 'Pièce de résistance' is killing the cord, which he does in much the same way as the Adder hosepipe, he clings with all 4 legs as you try to wrap up the Boa Constrictor and place it back in the cave upstairs where it dwells...(the bedroom cupboard)

Dressing up

A regular occurence, Homer is often dressed in some ridiculous outfit, as I feel as an owner I have to get my revenge somehow

Narrow coffee cups..

Getting up unecessarily

Obviously there is no point in dislodging his lardy bum off the sofa when his ball drops on the floor, as their is always a willing human around who can pick it up for him and insert it back between his paws (who says he's spoilt..!)

These are just a few things, it is quite a large comprehensive list including various other things, such as being left on his own, sharing his toys, sharing his food (big NO NO), not being able to cling to his mummy every second of the day.....